Feel Free to Talk Back

I am very happy to have people comment on these entries and you don't need to write an essay, happy to get "liked it" or "don't agree with this one" although if you hate it some hint as to why would be helpful.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

God Knows Best


My local pub had a guest beer on tap recently called God Knows Best and a fine drop it was too so perhaps in terms of beer he does although I suspect he left it to some mortal to actually brew the stuff.

This phrase sprang to mind again when listening to coverage of the Popes current visit to the UK, which as these things go is generally being hailed as a success. I was particularly struck by a speech he made in Scotland which has turned into a bit of a theme throughout his visit, it was a plea to ensure that religion (presumably his) is not excluded from decision making in an "increasingly secular society" He reminded his audience that the current legal system and laws were founded on Christian values and that this tradition needed to continue as the freedom promised by secularism was illusory and it merely provided people the "freedom to harm themselves"

So my first thought is that this Pope, who as a previous member of Hitler youth should know better, seems to have limited grasp of history. In particular the history of his own church and religion in general and the misery it has visited upon millions of people, never mind the harm it has wrought.
As a very recent example during his current visit he has felt the need to apologies for the catholic churches part in child sex abuse but seems to fail to recognise that the very "do as I say" attitude that he is promoting was a significant factor in why these particular events came to pass and why the church felt the need to systematically cover these up. The rise in secularism that he so bemoans is exactly why we even know about these events, as the church has lost its all powerful grip on people's lives they have felt safe enough to come forward and let the light shine on these dark times.

It is also condescending to believe that only Christian values are worth considering in the drafting of the rules that govern our societies, especially as an ever decreasing number of people necessarily subscribe to these values. This seems to me to be a simple plea for the once powerful to remain or become powerful again.

 On the other hand we can all be prone to a bit of "I know best isim" especially when we see someone doing something that runs counter to our own belief system, so take up one of the Christian messages the Pope has forgotten and remember to be tolerant of the people you meet who do stuff you don't agree with, perhaps it is hunting and eating whales or maybe it is wearing a burka or letting prisoners vote. Whatever it is remember to apply the test of personal liberty versus societal contract rather than any adherence to an outdated dogma written ostensibly 2000 years ago when the world was quite a different place.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

You only bury your mother once

So thankfully my mother is still alive and doing well, so is her mother so I have good genes on my maternal side at least for a long life.

The title was taken from a comment I heard on talk back radio and a women was relaying how incredibly hard it was for her and presumably most of us when we face that event. She talked of the absolute grief that overwhelmed her and said that two years down the road she felt she was still recovering. She observed at one point that she didn't know how to handle this event because "you only bury your mother once" Now having said that my mother is still alive I like most of us have still faced the death of a loved one and I am sure we can all understand how this lady was feeling.

The host of the radio program went on to observe that "rationally we all know that the person in the box doesn't want us to be sad but at times like this we don't really think rationally" Again I think this is a sentiment that we can all get on board with. Certainly if I was "in the box" I would not want people to be distraught with grief and certainly not for two years afterwards, especially if they were one of the people I loved in life. (OK so there is a small part of our ego who would like people to miss us a bit when we are gone as it validates our time on earth but other than that.)

So the two comments combined lead me to think about practicing being rational because you "only bury your mother once" and so in preparation for that event I wondered if it is important that we practice not letting our emotions overwhelm us and with some practice in the bank this might help us a bit when we face very difficult emotional moments. I am not crazy enough to think we can just rationalise away grief but it should help to realise that our loved one would still want us to be happy, if we remember that and believe it.

We all know that we can find ourselves saying things that we later regret, normally because we were angry or some other emotion has taken control of our tounges. Or that we react to situations and feel foolish later "in the cold light of day" etc. These are all opportunities to try and involve your rational self and put in some practice to help you through the tough times, not to mention the benefits of not having to deal with the aftermath of some ill advised comment made in anger.

The extreme version of this may well be found in the death of Seneca and event that has been much written about and is the subject of a number of famous art works. Seneca at one time was tutor to Nero (famously the emporer who fiddled while Rome burned or perhaps more relevant to this topic had his mother executed)Nero ordered Seneca to kill himself as he suspected him (probably wrongly) of being involved in a plot to kill him. Seneca was a student of Stoic philosophy which helped him meet his fate with calm resolution. This made him the poster child for Stoicism and gives rise to the label of stoic that we sometimes give to "stiff upper lip" types. In a sentance Stoicism teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions.

So I am not suggesting we all adopt Stoicism but I do think that there is some good in the idea that the rational can help with some of those "destructive emotions" such as fear, anger, depression etc and may help us with our grief when the time comes, as it will, for all of us.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Action, Crowd Reaction

So Newton told us that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, however he was refering to physics not people.

The recent Christchurch earthquake is an interesting case, clearly Newton was right on the physics front as all that action generated by the ground certainly caused a reaction with the buildings, roads, infastructure etc that it came in contact with. At this point I wish to say that I understand that a lot of peoples lives have been effected by the quake and I do feel for them however.....

That doesn't really account for the frenzy of fear, doubt, panic and over reaction we are witnessing on the TV and radio. We have people saying the can't sleep for worry, that they are moving out of town, some temporarily some suggesting permanently. That their lives have been permanenetly scared by this event etc.

I mean come on, this is completly silly, in the moment of the earthquake the fear and associated fight or flight response kicks in the juices flow and we act in a hyper mode of stress, increased heart rate etc. All of which can be very handy when a wall might fall on you at any moment and jumping quickly out of the way will save your life. The event lasted a few minutes or less at a guess (I wasn't there but I did feel it) and I will give you a couple of hours to calm down but after that the big reasoning brain should take over.

The likelyhood of aftershocks is high, however I understand that the first one is always the biggest (per a geology prof on the telly) and better yet you know they are coming so you can get ready. After that I suspect that the risk of another "big" quake (in quotes because it is all relative I guess) is the same as it every was (or probably less as my personal observation is they seem to be spread out in time) and that your level of panic should be the same as the day before the quake. I mean after all we live in a country created by two plates coming together this is a highly earthquake prone country.

Why then do so many people dwell on their feelings and completely disregard the rational response, also at times like this people who request rationality are likely to be branded as unfeeling and as I am at risk of that I feel the need to defend that position. Is it feeling to promote peoples fears as legitamate when they are not? Does this make them feel better? Can I feel empathy for your situation and loss without buying into your irational emotions? Well of course I can and acting rationally I am likely to be more useful to you. If a fireman comes to rescue me I could care less what he/she feels for me as long as they cooly and rationally do their job and help me out. Same thing isn't it?

But the media loves the drama, not much of a sound bite if someones says "well no one died so no real problem", on the other hand a distressed person grieving the loss of their property and vowing to head for the hills "before another one gets me" makes a much better image and so around it goes.

The worst example in my memory was the death of Lady Diana Spencer, the crazy scenes of people in major distress grieving for someone they didn't actually know will always be a head shaker for me.

Its a fine and good thing to have emotions but lets keep the big rational brain engaged which in the end should help us with our emotions. So do someone in Christchurch a favour ring them up and tell them the world is just the same as it was before and that you are thinking about moving to Christchurch as it should be about 100 years till there is another quake there. (rationally speaking of course)