And – which is more – you’ll be a man my son

The above is the last line of a poem by Rudyard Kipling (1865 – 1936) someone who was in no doubt about the qualities one should possess or the activities one should indulge in to be described as a man. He had the fortune (from his perspective) of being born British at a time when “The Empire” was at its height and the roles of men and women were well defined. To put that in context women only achieved limited suffrage in 1918 and it wasn’t till 1928 in Britain that universal suffrage was achieved, both events relatively at the end of Rudyard’s life.


In 2010 the role of men is not so clear cut as I suspect it was in 1910. In today’s society we have seen the “rise” of women which has had a profound influence on the traditional gender roles. One good example is the often quoted statistic is that the majority of students entering university in New Zealand are now female in contrast to only a few generations ago when women were achieving firsts. The first Otago University Graduate was 1897, in Law and many other degrees had to wait much longer to boast a female graduate.

So I mention all of this as I had some “mans” yoghurt in the weekend. I have had plenty of what was presumably women’s yoghurt before without realising I could be putting my man status in jeopardy. What makes it “mans” yoghurt is that the company making the stuff is running a deliberate advertising campaign targeting men and it uses descriptions of what is manly to make an admittedly tongue in cheek humorous pitch at the male consumer. Which is fair enough, but it took my attention as it is only one of a number of campaigns that are currently around targeting the idea of “being a man” There are a couple of beer adverts, which admittedly are always blokey in their approach, however these have a theme of freedom from the tyranny of the way you are supposed to act. Then there is the road safety campaign which uses “being in control” as a manly attribute and a hook for its campaign, something I suspect that will be more effective than the blood and gore campaign they have been running up till now.

All of these campaigns were likely to have been subjected to a focus group study prior to going to air. A fairly standard marketing technique where you ask a group of consumers about your product and its attributes etc as well as potentially commenting on the effectiveness of the campaign. So the conclusion would seem to be that men are interested in being men, perhaps no surprise there. Of interest is that they need the idea to be reflected in the media and do not have the confidence to already be men. The slightly worrying point might be that they may be looking to advertisers to provide them with the answer to what a man should be. This is an opportunity for men to learn something from women who have been beset by the media telling them what it is to be a woman and not always (possibly never) a positive thing.

Clearly advertisers don’t have social agenda’s, they have a desire to sell their product so this does not make them a reliable source of information on any topic really and as much as we already know this it is amazing how many of these messages get picked up and incorporated into the main stream.

The question for me remains, why are men currently so uncertain of what it means to be a man, is it a wider set of choices, is it a lack of fathers in some families, has society been “feminised” Or am I reading this wrong are men still safe and secure in their manhood. As a sample of one I don’t feel too bothered but then I am old fashioned and a bit of a dinosaur on these matters sometimes. Probably more to come on this topic but in the mean time here is the poem

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)